FORT WAYNE, Ind. (WANE) — Alesha Miller, the woman charged with beating 9-year-old Elijah Ross to death in December, is no longer pleading guilty.

Last week, she wrote Superior Court Judge Fran Gull a letter to say that it’s taken seven months since the death of her stepson to “even think about what has happened.”

Alesha Lynn Miller

“This all has been very traumatic,” she wrote in the 2-page handwritten letter filed with the court July 26. “I feel I have made rash decisions with my case without even thinking.”

She paints herself as an unreliable witness who was pressured into taking a plea deal. The end result wouldn’t be fair to Elijah or herself, she said.

Miller, 30, said she “blacked out” that night and was sure she was the one who “hurt our son like that. There’s no excuse for it. Worst mistake of my life and it haunts me everyday your honor (sic).”

It will be up to a judge to determine whether or not to pull Miller’s guilty plea and let the case proceed to a trial.

Sentencing on her plea deal, that called for 30 years in prison, was delayed until after the trial for Elijah’s biological mother, Jenna Miller, 37. Jenna Miller’s 4-day jury trial, in Gull’s courtroom, is scheduled to start Nov. 29 and end Dec. 2, which is also the new date for Alesha’s sentencing.

A letter was written to Superior Court Judge Fran Gull by Alesha Miller, accused of beating her stepson to death Dec. 18. She no longer wants to plead guilty.

Miller originally pleaded guilty on April 24, but the May 24 sentencing was delayed until December after Jenna Miller’s trial.

Once news before Christmas that Elijah had died, the community and neighbors on Putnam Street on the city’s north side held several vigils. To this day, a memorial is kept up to date with flowers, teddy bears and balloons to keep alive the memory of the handsome and slight boy.

The night he died, the women took Elijah to St. Joseph Hospital emergency room downtown around 2 a.m. where a medic described his body as “cold and limp.”

According to Elijah’s two older brothers, the boy had been held down by his legs while Alesha beat him repeatedly. She also used a broken wooden paddle during the attack. At the scene, police found a white leather belt.

The two then took him upstairs to a shower in the hopes of reviving him before loading him into Alesha’s Jeep around 1:30 a.m. and drove him to the hospital.

They said they returned to the home at 9 p.m. the night before he died after getting a call that the boys were fighting.

Jenna Miller told police that Alesha Miller “continuously kept whooping the victim,” court records said. When they put Elijah in the shower, he squeezed Jenna’s arm and said “Mommy.”

Jenna Miller, right, biological mother to Elijah, 9, awaits a jury trial at the end of November.

Both women were charged with aggravated battery resulting in death, a Felony 1, and three counts of neglect of a dependent, one count resulting in death in late December.

Even though both women gave their versions of what happened that night, Alesha Miller, in her letter, told the judge she didn’t believe she could testify “for multiple reasons. One, being I don’t remember a lot. Two, my life was put in more danger when it was announced in open court in front of several inmates (that) I was to testify. Three, my son Elijah’s dad was in the court room and he’s threatened me and my family on multiple occasions. I do not feel safe with him in the courtroom.”

In an interview with WANE 15 on May 24, Elijah’s father, who was also the biological father of Xayvion and considered himself a father to the oldest, Jaden, said once the two women got together, he was kept out of their lives.

“In my whole entire life, I just wanted to see my boys,” Ross said.

Alesha Miller said she requested a new attorney and was denied. Currently her public defender is Ryan Gardner, well known in criminal defense circles.

Alesha said she didn’t feel as though he “had her best interest at heart.” She said she felt “very pressured” to sign the plea deal because she was told at the last minute. She also said she didn’t “fully understand the terms of the 30-year plea. I thought I had excepted (sic) a cap of 30 and recently found out otherwise.

“I can’t live with this and a lie on top of it. I’m not a reliable person to testify against Jenna Miller,” Alesha wrote in her letter. “I want to be honest and take responsibility because Elijah deserves that, but also I want  a fair chance as well.”